War On Christmas: Top 10 “Christophobic Cranks”

Some could argue that the country’s focus shifted to a consumerist mindset once the assembly line and factories of the early 1920s made goods quicker, cheaper and more available. If the ideological seeds of consumerism had already been planted, the Industrial Revolution was the water to make growth possible.

According to Census.gov, 15% of annual sales occur in December. Department stores raked in a whopping $31.9 Billion in December 2004 (a 54% jump from November). In the previous century, the giver would make mittens, sew blankets or bake mince meat pie but in modern times, the sale of electronics and lavish gifts skyrocket. Consider that half the annual sales of diamonds, furs and watches happen during the Christmas season.

That’s right. They’re Christians that don’t celebrate Christmas. While it seems bizarre to many, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that birthday celebrations are unnecessary.

Larry Walker, a United Church of God Pastor, does not celebrate Christmas either. “I choose not to celebrate Christmas for several reasons. It is not biblical in origin. It is a carryover from ancient pagan celebrations that have nothing to do with Christ. As many acknowledge, Christ was born in the autumn, not in the dead of winter,” he writes in a blog. “I choose rather to observe Holy Days that God originally gave to Old Testament Israel, and were observed by the apostles and the early Church.”

While he hasn’t been widely attacked by the Christmas Communist Radar, technically he doesn’t support the celebration of Christmas. He doesn’t necessarily condemn it either but some would argue that puts him on par with retailers that write “Christmas” on their websites but only use “Holiday” in their stores.

He goes on to express his cognitive dissonance over the legality of Christmas in schools. “What is the legal or logical basis for allowing Christmas customs and symbols in the classrooms and courtrooms? Does this not constitute a violation of the principle of separation of Church and state?” he asks. “Why are Christmas decorations and celebrations allowed in school when other forms of religious expression are strictly banned?”

Last year indie filmmaker Brian Flemming decided to stir up controversy in what he calls a “fictitious war”. “Christian conservatives complain nonstop about the ‘War on Christmas,’ but there really isn’t any such war,” said Beyond Belief Media president Brian Flemming , a former fundamentalist Christian who is now an atheist activist. “So we have decided to wage one, to demonstrate what it would look like if Jesus’ birthday were truly attacked.”

His 300 person guerilla street team stormed Christmas plays, Nativity scenes, Christmas caroling, shopping malls and Christmas tree lots with a mission – to distribute THE GOD WHO WASN’T THERE, an edgy DVD that was sure to inflame believers everywhere. The film has segments that aim to historically and scientifically discredit the existence of Jesus.

“Wherever the mythical figure Jesus is celebrated as if he were real, we will be there with an information barrage,” Flemming smirked. “We will undercut the idea that there is any point at all to celebrating the ‘birth’ of a character in a fairy tale.”

In chapter one of “Stations of the Sun: A Ritual History of Britain”, Ronald Hutton discusses how Charles Dickens transformed Christmas from a community-based, church-centered holiday to a family-based dinner party.

With quotes like, “I will honor Christmas and try to keep it with me the whole year” it’s hard for Dickens hardly skirts around the issue. Gift giving and generosity were the central themes in A Christmas Carol, argues Hutton, an idea that hadn’t been emphasized in past Christmas seasons. In 18th Century England, the holiday was observed by churchgoing, hanging holly, having dinner parties and caroling for twelve days. In modern day, sometimes people who don’t celebrate Christmas in the gift-giving, charitable sense are still deemed “scrooges” -- mean, twisted, social rejects.

Last season, the Seattle-Tacoma Airport has angered every Christmas War pundit out there. Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky wrote a letter to their airport, requesting that they add a menorah to their Christmas Tree holiday display. "Everyone should have their spirit of the holiday. For many people the trees are the spirit of the holidays, and adding a menorah adds light to the season," He also made mention he was prepared to sue if his request was ignored. In response to the letter, the airport promptly took down all nine trees.

Airport spokeswoman Terri-Ann Betancourt hoped to buy some time and stave off the decision. "What we have are holiday trees," she said. "If we are going to display symbols representing other cultures, we have to think what that means and what's respectful and what would make a good display. Maybe it would be 'Holidays of the World’ -- Or maybe it's snowmen."

"There is no debate on this anymore," Bogomilsky’s attorney Harvey Grad reported. "The menorah is something the port is legally obligated to put up. But the port was either unwilling or incapable to do so and instead folded its tent."

Chicago was the epicenter of a 2006 Anti-Christmas epidemic. They’ve asked New Line Cinema, a sponsor for the city’s annual holiday festival, to remain on the outskirts in 2006. The company’s Mel Gibson-inspired movie The Nativity Story is expected to raise some eyebrows for its contentious nature.

Initially a statement was released by city spokesman Jim Law saying the film would be “insensitive to the many people of different faiths who come to enjoy the market for its food and unique gifts” and would also “be contrary to acceptable advertising standards suggested to the many festivals and holding events on Daley Plaza.”

He spoke about not wanting to condone any one religion over another and made mention that they would still display a nativity scene on the festival grounds, along with a menorah. Later the mayor’s spokeswoman defended their decision, saying, “This particular incident is about a movie studio aggressively marketing a movie and trying to sell tickets to that movie."

There are a myriad of opinions exploding across Fox, The NY Sun, CNN and the blogosphere. Part-Time Pundit John Bambenek writes, “The City of Chicago’s decision has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with separation of Church and State or multiculturalism. It is censorship, pure and simple. It’s yet another declaration of war on Christianity’s right to exist.”

“Chicago’s stance is one of antireligious bigotry,” the Parents’ Television Council issued in a statement.

The Soviet Union banned Christmas trees and celebration of the holiday. Similarly, Cuba banned Christmas from 1969 to 1997. The state was seen to supercede religion and the parties hoped to crush overt celebration of faith.

In 1959, the John Birch Society issued an alert that Christmas was under attack in a pamphlet titled “There Goes Christmas?!”

“One of the techniques now being applied by the Reds to weaken the pillar of religion in our country is the drive to take Christ out of Christmas -- to denude the event of its religious meaning.”

They went on to attack department stores that were backed by “the godless UN” to propagate images and rituals of universal brotherhood. “They [The UN Fanatics] are already busy, however, at this very moment, on efforts to poison the 1959 Christmas season with their high-pressure propaganda. What they now want to put over on the American people is simply this: Department stores throughout the country are to utilize UN symbols and emblems as Christmas decorations,” their pamphlet cautioned. This began the idea of black-listing department stores that didn’t adopt “proper ornamentation”.

What first began as a paranoid, far-right group of people who thought fluoridated water was a communist attempt to poison American’s brains – has now become the backbone of the current “Save Christmas” crusade.

2. Retailers: JCrew, Banana Republic, Staples, PetSmart, Eddie Bauer, The Dollar Tree, The Gap, Lowe’s, Rite Aid, Schnuck’s Grocery Stores, Layne Bryant, Giant Eagle, Best Buy

Comedian George Carlin frequently discusses how excessively politically correct our nation has become in his satirical book When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops. He wrote, “The Nazis referred to the extermination of the Jews as 'special action.' In their version, the Jews were not killed, they were 'resettled,' 'evacuated' or 'transferred.' The dead were referred to as the 'no longer relevant.'"

Christmas Crusaders implore us: What could be worse than a bunch of greedy misers who can’t even say “Merry Christmas”? The Liberty Counsel issued this list of “Naughty Retailers,” citing some of the reasons.

For example, JCrew has a “holiday edition” catalog, a “holiday” meal and a “holiday” countdown with no mention of Christmas. Giant Eagle only has “seasonal wrap”. The Gap has a “Holiday Survival Guide” that does not mention Christmas. At the Dollar Tree, customers report that everyone is “avoiding the C word” and “it’s pretty obvious which ‘holiday’ they will not discuss”.

While Wal-mart and Macy’s have changed their jingle, other companies aren’t budging.

If there's one organization the Conservatives hate, it's the ACLU. The ACLU’s mission statement is to protect civil liberties and defend “freedom of religion supported by the strict separation of church and state.” Initially the ACLU caught heat for fighting the public school system to remove religious-centered school plays, prayer in schools and Nativity scenes on public, government property.

However, in 2002 the ACLU represented the Church of the Good News to defend their right to post Anti-Santa ads on public transit. Attorney Harvey Schwartz said, “"The MBTA has a history of refusing advertising space to groups it disagrees with. Under the Constitution, government officials simply do not have that power. It is about time that the MBTA learned this lesson."

Bill O’Reilly will never grow tired of bashing the ACLU. He started the Christmas debacle as early as March. He ranted: “Every single thing the United States government tries to do to protect us against terrorism, these people oppose and they'll sue -- just like Christmas. Same thing. Same thing. ‘We'll sue you -- put the crèche in the main part of town, sing a Christmas carol -- we'll sue you.’ Sue, sue, sue, sue, sue. So look, I'm declarin' war on the ACLU. I think they're a terrorist group. They're terrorizin' me and my family. They're terrorizing me. I think they're terrorists. Can I get some lawyers to help me out here? Can we sue 'em? They're puttin' us all in danger.”